my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
