Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
