Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
