DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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