Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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