I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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