I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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