We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
