Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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