Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
