a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
