So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
