I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
