are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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