I smell stomach acid.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
