I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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