Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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