I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize