Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
