I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
