Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
