Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
