"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
