It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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