now i know why i became what i already was.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize