Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
