he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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