does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
