i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
