who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize