After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
