Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
