Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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