she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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