i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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