i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
