What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
