Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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