I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
