I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
