Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
