So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
