He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
