Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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