bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
