If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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