and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
