you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
