Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize