Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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