I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
