i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
