Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
