I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
