I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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