I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
