then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
