I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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