break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
