she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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