Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
