East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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