I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
