I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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