6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
