glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize