She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
