belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
