i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
