I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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