i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
