Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
