Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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