: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
